It’s human nature to care about what other people think of us, whether it’s being worried if they think you said something dumb at a party or if they like your outfit. While we all think about the opinions of others, for some of us, it goes too far and becomes a fear of people’s opinions, known as FOPO. And that’s where it becomes a problem.
The concept of FOPO gets its name from psychologist Michael Gervais, who explains that it’s a way we try “to increase our acceptance in the eyes of others and for us to try to avoid rejection.” It’s basically the term for needing validation and approval from other people, and signs you’re dealing with it include:
- Checking your phone to look important or busy
- Laughing at something you don’t find funny
- Drinking at a party even when you don’t want to
- Staying at your job late just because your boss is still there
- Pretending to see a movie or show you’ve never watched
- Lying about your age at work if your industry is run by younger people
Most of us do care what others think of us, but the thing is, people really aren’t paying as much attention to us as we think, as Gervais points out they’re too busy worrying they’re being judged or critiqued by us. But if you want to worry less about what other people think, good news - the first step is awareness. Just being aware of FOPO makes their opinions less powerful and staying true to your own values, goals and identity will help, too.
Source: Huff Post